The Donut Shop Dilemma/Archive

Kefka slowly made his way through town, more attentive than usual. It was the day after the monster invasion of Dollet, so one couldn't be too careful. He had found himself wondering just why the monsters invaded the city like that. Being the way he was, he refused to believe it was a freak incident. As he turned down the road towards the bakery, he saw one of the townspeople he normally saw daily approaching him. "Hey! Hey, you! You were one of the people fighting the monsters out of town yesterday, right?"

Kefka scowled a moment, aggravated at the guy just calling him out like that. He then tilted his head. There were certainly more people fighting, but was that really all that noteworthy? "I was fighting, yes." He said finally, sighing. "You helped save the town! Hey, I'll let you in on a secret." The guy then leaned closely. "They say that there's some crystal pillar or somethin' over in Esthar that made those monsters go berserk."

Hmm...If this Crystal Pillar was the source of the monsters, maybe he could look into it. To Esthar! ...But first, he decided to buy some donuts. He turned and quickly entered the bakery. He did not hesitate on his way to the counter where that curious creature that ran the bakery stood, that same grin plastered on its face.

"Hi there! What you want today?" It said cheerily. "Erm, yes. I would like some glazed donuts, please." Kefka asked in a haughty tone. ".....We out glazed donuts." The creature said dully, shaking its head slowly. The mage sighed, slouching a bit. He then straightened up again. "Hmmm, well, do you have any... jelly donuts?" He asked, a finger resting lightly at his chin. ".....We out jelly donuts." The creature said dully, shaking its head slowly. Kefka scowled. No matter, though. "Do you happen to have any... Alexandrian creme-filled donuts?" He raised an eyebrow, maintaining the scowl. ".....We out Alexandrian creme-filled donuts." The creature said dully, shaking its head slowly. Kefka was starting to get angry now. Why are all the donuts gone? "Do you have any... cinnamon rolls?" He asked after exhaling forcefully, his arms crossed. ".....We out cinnamon rolls." The creature said dully, shaking its head slowly. Pale forehead met equally pale hand as the man's patience was fading. "Right!" He said strictly, tapping his foot. "Do you have any apple fritters?" ".....We out apple fritters." The creature said dully, shaking its head slowly. Seriously! Did the monsters raid the bakery? "Do you... have... any bear claws?" The angry jester asked slowly through gritted teeth. "..........What bear claws?" The creature asked, a confused look crossing its face. "....." Kefka slumped a bit, sighing. The thing behind the counter tilted it's head a moment, then turned around for a few minutes. It turned back when Kefka started tapping his foot. ".....We out bear claws." The creature said dully, shaking its head slowly. Its grin had somehow returned. Kefka, having enough of this, slammed his hands on the counter and moving his face close enough to it to smell something sickeningly sweet, an unsettling grin on his face. "Welllll then..." He started, then his face immediately turned angry, "What do you have?!" The creature just stared at him for a full minute, the grin it was wearing not wavering. ".....We have muffin. We have danish. We have pie. What you want?" It finally said, matter-of-factly.

Not much later, Kefka slinked back towards the mountain, a bag of muffins clinched tightly in his hand.